a man wakes up on a merchant ship after a night of heavy drinking
upon waking, he is greeted by the ship’s captain, who offers him a hearty handshake and a loaf of bread.
The man quickly realizes he’s been shanghaied and asks when and where he will be able to get back to shore.
the captain laughs and says, “well it’s going to be a few months young man, but we are very happy out here at sea and im sure you too will find some happiness out here.”
As the captain shows him around the ship, describing the different jobs he will be expected to do, the man notices a sailor near the back of the ship with his eyes closed and making strange noises.
He peeks his head around a shroud, and notices that the sailor is hugging a large barrel with his pants around his ankles. The sailor steps back, pulls up his pants, and goes back to work. About 10 minutes later, he sees another sailor belly up to the barrel and do the exact same thing.
The man asks the captain what these sailors are doing, and the captain tells him, “That’s how we stay so happy out here for so long. Any time you are feeling anxious and missing the comforts of home, you can go to the back of the ship and stick your johnson in that barrel. Why don’t you go try it?”
The man walks up to the barrel, drops his pants and sticks his business in the hole in the side. He experiences the most pleasure he’s ever felt, and when he’s finished he tells the captain, “that was amazing! I’m going to be going to that barrel every single day!”
“Well,” says the captain, “you can go to the barrel every day except Wednesday.”
“Why not Wednesday?” the man asks.
The captain answers, “Wednesday is your turn in the barrel.”